Paranoia is a disturbing thought process characterized by excessive anxiety or fear, often to the point of irrationality and delusion description of paranoia by wikipedia. hmm… i believe paranoia has its level. to me being paranoid is just being cautions dont u think? it’s like preparing yourself to embrace the worst and or maybe avoid the worst, i have my fair share of paranoia but i would level it as surface paranoia, let me explain. when you are so used to something that has become a routine, but there is a tiny change to it.

For example; you know that you will get or expecting a call from someone but the call never made it, or maybe there is a car following you from behind for a long time, or maybe even a situations, i get paranoid, my brain start scattering, thoughts fly through my head, all kinds of scenarios occur in my head playing over and over again, i just natural get ready for whats gonna happen the voice in my head goes like this “ok, if that happens, i’ll do this, if this happens, i’ll do that”. is that what u call critical paranoia? in my point of view its not. thats what i call surface paranoia…HahahAH!

anyhow..i was out with my cousins just now, Meloh, Grace, and Jy. we decide to eat at open air for some all time favorite beef noodles and it was pack, cant find parking so we had to park our car behind electra house, they were really nosily girl talking to each other and as i pull up to the parking spot all my cousins suddenly kept silent, and paranoia kicked in like for a split second, but i ignore it. what possibly could go wrong right?

Grace: “aie?”

Jy: “…..”

Meloh, Jy, Grace: “…..taaaannn…..taaaann!!!….ATTAN!!!!!!!!

Attan: “ha?..what? what?!?….WHAT the FUCK are u all screaming at?!”

at this point my door was half open..and all this confusion, paranoia, and freaking out was scaring the living shit out of me

Meloh: ” tan!! tutup pintu dek! “ ( close your door)

i slamed the door as hard as i possibly can, i can feel the vibration of the glass window. but i wasn’t driving my own car thought..hehe. at this point i was looking left right front back, my left hand was on the hon waiting to blast it if anything happen, in my head all i could think was that is there a guy trying to rob us or what? my left hand was all over the door trying to lock the car

Meloh reach over n quickly press the lock button.

at this point i was calm…the girls were like

“oh my god, oh my god….”

at this point i still dont know whats happening

Grace:ee tan, i dont want to come out from this car..” with a nervous voice

Jy: “medak dek tan!” ( look tan)

Attan: “nama nyak? neh besik utai?” (what is it? i dont see anything)

Grace: “nai medak dek urang gila nyak!?” (cant u see theres a crazy guy there?)

Meloh: “auk ah!” (yeah lah!)

and there was this guy..he looked all scruffy wit torn shits, sitting on the dirty floor smiling and slightly nodding his head at my cousins

Attan: “HAHAHAHAH!!! what the hell is the matter with u all? its just some poor dude trying to feast his eyes on you, kesian him la, his human bah”

Jy: “eeeh park some where else la….”

yeah so thats what happened just now la…HahaH! freaking out at some mindless unsound dude, who is just trying to stay alive. one more question before i end this post. who u think is paranoid? my cousins? or me?





~ by Attan on 14 Mar 2008.

One Response to “Paranoia”

  1. get a chatterbox monkey

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